There isn't enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle. - Siddharta Gautama
Highschool. Isa sa mga lugar na gusto nating balik-balikan kahit sa alaala lamang. Doon nangyari ang ating "formative years". Para sa akin, isa ito sa parte ng nakaraan ko na tinalikuran ko na pero hindi kinalimutan. We should never forget our past, no matter how harsh nor how tragic. It is a part of us and it formed us to be who we are now.
Still... What am I doing here? With a boyfriend that didn't even go to school here. I have no idea. I have no answer to that. Only he knows the answer.
"Pao... what are we doing here?" sabi ko.
"It's a surprise..." sabi niya habang ngumingiti. Bumababa siya sa kotse at binuksan ang pinto para sa akin. Pao, the gentleman. It's one of the little things that I love about him.
"Do you trust me, Nic?" tanong ni Pao.
"Of course. Why are you asking?" sagot ko.
"Please put this on..." sabi niya. He handed me a red silk blindfold. I caressed the silk and felt its smoothness. This is true silk. Expensive. I looked at him with a quizzical look.
"What's this for?" tanong ko.
"It's a surprise honey..." sabi niya.
"You're kinky..." sabi ko ng pabiro. Tumawa siya. Tinali ko na ang piring sa ulo ko. Ngayon ay wala na akong makita.
Naramdaman ko siyang lumapit sa akin at niyakap ako. Dumampi ang kanyang mga labi sa aking pisngi. Pagkatapos ay may sinabi siya sa akin.
"I love you..." sabi niya.
"I love you too..." tugon ko.
Humiwalay siya sa pagkayakap pero hinawakan niya ang aking kaliwang kamay at dahan-dahan niya akong ginabayan sa kanyang surpresa. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari o kung bakit nandito pa kami. I really don't know. Maybe I'm scared, maybe I'm excited. It's just one of those things that gives you mixed emotions. It was hot. And the air seemed to smell of strawberry. I just love the smell of strawberries.
I felt him stop. And he got behind me and he hugged me once again. He kissed my left cheek and my right. Then he whispered to my ear.
"I love you Nicole..." he said.
I put my arms over his and smiled. I now know what this is about. And it frightens me. But at the same time, I am overwhelmed with happiness. Tears start to form behind the silk blindfold and trickled down my cheek. This was the day that I have hoped for. And dreaded. This is the moment. The moment that I have longed for.
This is the moment where he will ask me to marry him.
Slowly, he took off the blindfold but I didn't open my eyes. I wanted him to guide me on this night. On this ritual that couples go through. This is our moment of truth as a couple. Our next step towards something higher. Something that will dictate our lives. Something that will make this relationship complete.
"I have no doubt you know what's going to happen next. I know you're scared and you may not be ready but you can open your eyes now..." sabi sa akin ni Pao.
And I did. What I first noticed was light. Tiny little candles surrounded us, forming circles all around us. Imagine us, standing in the middle of so many candles, each candle contributing their own light to make this night seem like a dream. Candles of various sizes arranged in such a way that the candles of the inner most circle were the smallest and the candle of the outer most circle were the biggest.
And as I looked down, a little velvet box stood on the pillar in front of me. It was open and inside it was a ring. A very familiar one. It was the ring that I was gazing at every time I went by in that Jewelry Shop in ATC. It was the very same one. Tears formed once again. And I cried.
I cried for many reasons. Gladness. Relief. Dread. Anxiousness. And for love. It's cliché I know but I cried for love. Was it for a love gained or for a love lost? I don't really know.
Silently, I turned towards my boyfriend. He was kneeling on one knee. He looked at me and smiled.
"We've known each other for five years now. Count the candles and you'll know just how many days you came into my life. Remember the time when you said that you said to me that you weren't an angel and I said that you didn't need to be? The reason why you didn't need to be was because you were already an angel to me. You may not have known it but you actually saved me from myself. I was in deep despair then but there was always something about you that made me feel happier and more alive. You gave me something to look forward to each day I wake up. To me, you're already an angel. Now I know you're not the perfect woman in the world but you're the perfect one for me. And I would be honored if you married me. Say yes Nicole and we will be together for the rest of our days..."
I slowly took his hand and brought him back to his feet. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him fully in the lips. I could taste the tears that trickled down my face. But mostly, what I felt was the pureness of the kiss. It felt right and for that brief moment all of my doubts vanished. Everything vanished. Except us and the candles.
He broke off the kiss and looked at me. My teary eyes met his crystal clear ones.
"I'm still waiting for an answer..." he said with a smile. I smiled back at him and hugged him fiercely.
"Yes..."
Highschool. Isa sa mga lugar na gusto nating balik-balikan kahit sa alaala lamang. Doon nangyari ang ating "formative years". Para sa akin, isa ito sa parte ng nakaraan ko na tinalikuran ko na pero hindi kinalimutan. We should never forget our past, no matter how harsh nor how tragic. It is a part of us and it formed us to be who we are now.
Still... What am I doing here? With a boyfriend that didn't even go to school here. I have no idea. I have no answer to that. Only he knows the answer.
"Pao... what are we doing here?" sabi ko.
"It's a surprise..." sabi niya habang ngumingiti. Bumababa siya sa kotse at binuksan ang pinto para sa akin. Pao, the gentleman. It's one of the little things that I love about him.
"Do you trust me, Nic?" tanong ni Pao.
"Of course. Why are you asking?" sagot ko.
"Please put this on..." sabi niya. He handed me a red silk blindfold. I caressed the silk and felt its smoothness. This is true silk. Expensive. I looked at him with a quizzical look.
"What's this for?" tanong ko.
"It's a surprise honey..." sabi niya.
"You're kinky..." sabi ko ng pabiro. Tumawa siya. Tinali ko na ang piring sa ulo ko. Ngayon ay wala na akong makita.
Naramdaman ko siyang lumapit sa akin at niyakap ako. Dumampi ang kanyang mga labi sa aking pisngi. Pagkatapos ay may sinabi siya sa akin.
"I love you..." sabi niya.
"I love you too..." tugon ko.
Humiwalay siya sa pagkayakap pero hinawakan niya ang aking kaliwang kamay at dahan-dahan niya akong ginabayan sa kanyang surpresa. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari o kung bakit nandito pa kami. I really don't know. Maybe I'm scared, maybe I'm excited. It's just one of those things that gives you mixed emotions. It was hot. And the air seemed to smell of strawberry. I just love the smell of strawberries.
I felt him stop. And he got behind me and he hugged me once again. He kissed my left cheek and my right. Then he whispered to my ear.
"I love you Nicole..." he said.
I put my arms over his and smiled. I now know what this is about. And it frightens me. But at the same time, I am overwhelmed with happiness. Tears start to form behind the silk blindfold and trickled down my cheek. This was the day that I have hoped for. And dreaded. This is the moment. The moment that I have longed for.
This is the moment where he will ask me to marry him.
Slowly, he took off the blindfold but I didn't open my eyes. I wanted him to guide me on this night. On this ritual that couples go through. This is our moment of truth as a couple. Our next step towards something higher. Something that will dictate our lives. Something that will make this relationship complete.
"I have no doubt you know what's going to happen next. I know you're scared and you may not be ready but you can open your eyes now..." sabi sa akin ni Pao.
And I did. What I first noticed was light. Tiny little candles surrounded us, forming circles all around us. Imagine us, standing in the middle of so many candles, each candle contributing their own light to make this night seem like a dream. Candles of various sizes arranged in such a way that the candles of the inner most circle were the smallest and the candle of the outer most circle were the biggest.
And as I looked down, a little velvet box stood on the pillar in front of me. It was open and inside it was a ring. A very familiar one. It was the ring that I was gazing at every time I went by in that Jewelry Shop in ATC. It was the very same one. Tears formed once again. And I cried.
I cried for many reasons. Gladness. Relief. Dread. Anxiousness. And for love. It's cliché I know but I cried for love. Was it for a love gained or for a love lost? I don't really know.
Silently, I turned towards my boyfriend. He was kneeling on one knee. He looked at me and smiled.
"We've known each other for five years now. Count the candles and you'll know just how many days you came into my life. Remember the time when you said that you said to me that you weren't an angel and I said that you didn't need to be? The reason why you didn't need to be was because you were already an angel to me. You may not have known it but you actually saved me from myself. I was in deep despair then but there was always something about you that made me feel happier and more alive. You gave me something to look forward to each day I wake up. To me, you're already an angel. Now I know you're not the perfect woman in the world but you're the perfect one for me. And I would be honored if you married me. Say yes Nicole and we will be together for the rest of our days..."
I slowly took his hand and brought him back to his feet. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him fully in the lips. I could taste the tears that trickled down my face. But mostly, what I felt was the pureness of the kiss. It felt right and for that brief moment all of my doubts vanished. Everything vanished. Except us and the candles.
He broke off the kiss and looked at me. My teary eyes met his crystal clear ones.
"I'm still waiting for an answer..." he said with a smile. I smiled back at him and hugged him fiercely.
"Yes..."
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