There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. - Friedrich Nietzsche
Ilang segundo ang lumipas bago siya sumagot. Marahil ay hindi siya makapaniwala sa sitwasyon. Kahit ako, hindi makapaniwala e. Kahibangan na 'ata ang ginawa ko. Kahibangan nga pero... ba't feeling ko tama ang ginawa ko?
"Ayos lang ako. Ikaw?"
"Ayos rin lang."
Katahimikan na naman ang bumati sa akin. Ano nga ba ang meron sa amin ni Nicole na kahit ang katahimikan ay may sinasabi?
"Paano mo nga pala nakuha ang number ko?"
"Ah. Nakuha ko kay Andrea. Kilala mo naman siya 'di ba?"
"Yep. Sister ng BF ko. So... You're seeing each other?"
"I guess so."
Ano nga ba masasabi ko? Na hindi? Ayoko siyang lokohin. Ayokong magsinungaling sa kanya. Ayokong isipin niya na may tinatago ako sa kanya.
"She's my ex actually. Well, she's trying to patch up our relationship. But I don't think..."
"Why?"
Ako naman ang tumahimik. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Ilang segundo rin ang lumipas bago ko nasagot ang tanong niya.
"There are things that happened to me that caused a lot of changes in my life. And..."
"Let it go Yomz... Let me go..."
"But..." Pero hindi niya ako pinatapos. Sa totoo lang hindi ko naman alam kung anong sasabihin ko.
"Look Yomz. I'm in a relationship that is enduring for years. I don't want my life to fall apart. I'm sorry. Please just let me go."
"I... I can't do it. Hindi ko kaya Nicole. I lo..."
"Please don't say it. I know. I'm afraid of you saying it. Natatakot ako sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kapag narinig ko 'yun."
"Oh."
"Besides we don't really know each other. We've met and talked how many times? Three? Four? It's crazy."
"Then let's give it a shot. Let's get to know each other. Let's talk about stuff that you like and stuff that I like. It won't hurt to give it a try."
"I expect it will."
"How could you say that?"
"Because what we had in those past few meetings was like a fantasy. But if we get to know each other, we might not like what we see. And if the fantasy is gone. What then?
"I rather live a life of truth then be fooled by fantasies. If we find out that nothing can happen between us, then at least we could be friends."
"Friends? Haha. That's wishful thinking."
Tama nga siya. Hindi ko kaya na magkaibigan lang kami. Hindi ko kaya. Mas mabuti pa na hindi ko siya nakilala kaysa maging magkaibigan kami. Mas mahirap 'yung sitwasyon na 'yun.
"I guess it is. Let's make a deal."
"What deal?"
"Two days to get to know each other. Then, if nothing works, then we'll say goodbye on the second day and you'll never hear from me again. I'll disappear from your life."
"Two days? Why can't it be just a day?"
"Two days Nicole. One day for you explore my world and another day for me to explore yours."
Tumahimik siya. Papayag kaya siya? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung ano na ang ginagawa ko. Basta ayokong magtapos ang lahat sa isang phonecall. Gusto kong sabihin niya sa akin ng harap-harapan kung may pag-asa ako. Kami.
"Haha. Napaka-persuasive mo Yomz. Fine. We'll do what you want. I know you'll keep your word."
Whoa. Haha. Pumayag siya. Hindi maipinta ang kasiyahan sa mukha ko. Binigyan niya ako ng pagkakataon. Para akong siraulo dito sa balcony.
"So, who goes first?"
"You. You pick the time and place where you'll pick me up."
"Ok. How about next next Saturday?"
"Sure. I have nothing planned yet. Where will we meet?"
"Hmm... Kasi I go to my home in Las Piñas on weekends e. Where do you live ba?"
"I have a condo in Makati but I go home in Ayala Alabang on weekends."
"Great. So we'll meet sa Starbucks at ATC at 10 in the morning. Is that fine?"
"That will do. See you then"
"See you then."
Ano kaya mangyayari sa amin? Hindi ko rin alam kung ano gagawin ko pero kinakabahan ko. Kasi dalawa lang ang pagkakataon na binigay sa akin, paano kung magkamali ako?
Ilang segundo ang lumipas bago siya sumagot. Marahil ay hindi siya makapaniwala sa sitwasyon. Kahit ako, hindi makapaniwala e. Kahibangan na 'ata ang ginawa ko. Kahibangan nga pero... ba't feeling ko tama ang ginawa ko?
"Ayos lang ako. Ikaw?"
"Ayos rin lang."
Katahimikan na naman ang bumati sa akin. Ano nga ba ang meron sa amin ni Nicole na kahit ang katahimikan ay may sinasabi?
"Paano mo nga pala nakuha ang number ko?"
"Ah. Nakuha ko kay Andrea. Kilala mo naman siya 'di ba?"
"Yep. Sister ng BF ko. So... You're seeing each other?"
"I guess so."
Ano nga ba masasabi ko? Na hindi? Ayoko siyang lokohin. Ayokong magsinungaling sa kanya. Ayokong isipin niya na may tinatago ako sa kanya.
"She's my ex actually. Well, she's trying to patch up our relationship. But I don't think..."
"Why?"
Ako naman ang tumahimik. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Ilang segundo rin ang lumipas bago ko nasagot ang tanong niya.
"There are things that happened to me that caused a lot of changes in my life. And..."
"Let it go Yomz... Let me go..."
"But..." Pero hindi niya ako pinatapos. Sa totoo lang hindi ko naman alam kung anong sasabihin ko.
"Look Yomz. I'm in a relationship that is enduring for years. I don't want my life to fall apart. I'm sorry. Please just let me go."
"I... I can't do it. Hindi ko kaya Nicole. I lo..."
"Please don't say it. I know. I'm afraid of you saying it. Natatakot ako sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kapag narinig ko 'yun."
"Oh."
"Besides we don't really know each other. We've met and talked how many times? Three? Four? It's crazy."
"Then let's give it a shot. Let's get to know each other. Let's talk about stuff that you like and stuff that I like. It won't hurt to give it a try."
"I expect it will."
"How could you say that?"
"Because what we had in those past few meetings was like a fantasy. But if we get to know each other, we might not like what we see. And if the fantasy is gone. What then?
"I rather live a life of truth then be fooled by fantasies. If we find out that nothing can happen between us, then at least we could be friends."
"Friends? Haha. That's wishful thinking."
Tama nga siya. Hindi ko kaya na magkaibigan lang kami. Hindi ko kaya. Mas mabuti pa na hindi ko siya nakilala kaysa maging magkaibigan kami. Mas mahirap 'yung sitwasyon na 'yun.
"I guess it is. Let's make a deal."
"What deal?"
"Two days to get to know each other. Then, if nothing works, then we'll say goodbye on the second day and you'll never hear from me again. I'll disappear from your life."
"Two days? Why can't it be just a day?"
"Two days Nicole. One day for you explore my world and another day for me to explore yours."
Tumahimik siya. Papayag kaya siya? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung ano na ang ginagawa ko. Basta ayokong magtapos ang lahat sa isang phonecall. Gusto kong sabihin niya sa akin ng harap-harapan kung may pag-asa ako. Kami.
"Haha. Napaka-persuasive mo Yomz. Fine. We'll do what you want. I know you'll keep your word."
Whoa. Haha. Pumayag siya. Hindi maipinta ang kasiyahan sa mukha ko. Binigyan niya ako ng pagkakataon. Para akong siraulo dito sa balcony.
"So, who goes first?"
"You. You pick the time and place where you'll pick me up."
"Ok. How about next next Saturday?"
"Sure. I have nothing planned yet. Where will we meet?"
"Hmm... Kasi I go to my home in Las Piñas on weekends e. Where do you live ba?"
"I have a condo in Makati but I go home in Ayala Alabang on weekends."
"Great. So we'll meet sa Starbucks at ATC at 10 in the morning. Is that fine?"
"That will do. See you then"
"See you then."
Ano kaya mangyayari sa amin? Hindi ko rin alam kung ano gagawin ko pero kinakabahan ko. Kasi dalawa lang ang pagkakataon na binigay sa akin, paano kung magkamali ako?
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